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Cool Stuff: Vargo Ti Para-Bottle — the ultimate water bottle

Honolulu, HAWAII — Vargo’s Titanium Para-Bottle is the ultimate daily water bottle and steps it up when a natural disaster strikes your peaceful life.

In its factory stock configuration, the pure grade Titanium ultra lightweight Para-Bottle comes in at only 9.8 oz. If you travel from the Territory to other South Pacific destinations like Samoa, Tonga, Fiji, etc, the regional air carriers are about weight and fees.  

A few years ago at Fagali’i Airport, Samoa, Cool Stuff’s 4-pound video camera was removed from me onboard, while assigned to cover international dignitaries traveling to both canneries. I left my luggage, I offered my shoes, but the airline instead decided to hurt the Territory’s exposure to the World by this foolish decision. Loto leaga, stupidity, or insensitivity?— your call.

Integrated on the Para-Bottle’s cap’s connection to the main body is a braided 7ft length of paracord. The cap is massive machined ultra solid Titanium featuring a super sealing internal silicone ring.  

Titanium is a preferred single walled water bottle choice of metal as it is 45% lighter than steel, 2 x stronger than aluminum, and is neutral by not affecting the flavor of your pure water or juice. It is also “Bio-Compatible” (defined as non injurious to living organisms) sort out that relevance... I suggest Vargo should speak to we commoners with basic English, or at least Samoan language fa’a Manua.

Of course Cool Stuff immediately Samoanized my Vargo Ti Para-Bottle after the perfunctory photo shoot.

Firstly, Cool Stuff cut off the paracord connection to the main body.  Why, why, why?  Because when drama strikes in our reality we must worry about boiling water to avoid contaminants, micro creepy crawlers, etc.  So I bought my Vargo intentionally to prep for water purification...a higher priority than it primary design as a lightweight water vessel.

For some reason official Vargo online information seems to try to dissuade we Coolios from using it to boil.  While Titanium is ultra light and ultra strong, my conjecture is that Vargo execs may be concerned about warping or distortion of the Para-Bottles shape.  If my family’s health is at risk, I don’t care about the bottles shape or long term future.  The “100% Vargo Guarantee” seems to protect our no worries Mate.

My next step in Samoafication was to remember my Vaiusu, Samoa mechanic Loto Lam Sam’s advice, “Who cares what Suzuki parts we use on your Honda uila afi, as long as we make it better!”.  After cutting off the solid Vargo cap’s paracord, I replaced it with the $6.49 Hydro Flask’s Straw Lid (minus the straw).  This accessory allows me to hook it to my backpack, sip without unscrewing the stock cap, and easily remove it when I need to boil water.  

Vargo could make a-lot more tala if they sold a sports type cap, or at the very least, put a removable clip on the connection to the main bottle.  Cool Stuff may backward engineer a detachable paracord connector.

Lastly in the world of “if its not broke, don’t fix it”... Cool Stuff, not a fan of Titanium’s irregular patina, wiped on a bit of Extra Virgin Olive Oil...with the result being an ultra even toned and prettified exterior.

Brian Vargo, the genius behind Vargo Outdoors always finds a way for all you Coolios to become members of the Vargo Family. Cool Stuff’s world rugby travels validate my purchase of the $159.95 Titanium  

Para-Bottle... but for most of the same practicalities/functions you can buy a Vargo Stainless Steel Para-Bottle for only $34.95... Cool Stuff bought both!  Malo Brian!

Visit to see Brian’s amazing collection of biofuel and alcohol mini stoves, water bottles, flasks, pots, mugs, tools, utensils, backpacks & apparel.

And prayers for our uso Loto Lam Sam. We heard from cousins, Loto is recuperating in Australia due to health issues. Lots of good Loto memories of Fugalei roadside bbq muli pipi, lukewarm brown bottle Vailimas, motorcyle rides to Dirty Mike’s seaside shack for Friday night fish & chips, and guzzling those malosi rocket fuel charged 2-liter Samoa Coca Colas.