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Hawkeye: Waddling Along

“The opportunity for brotherhood presents itself every time you meet a Human Being.”

Hawkeye is on a diet! One evening last week Hawk was walking the Neighborhood when a kid asked him why he was waddling like a Duck. Hawkeye said that he was waddling like a duck because he was too obese to walk right like a good Homo-sapien. Hawk then asked the Kid who was all of 8 years of age: Now: Your turn: What’s your excuse? Over. The youngster just waddled off picking his nose. Moral of the story: lose weight in an attempt to live a little longer.

Hawkeye has been considered obese for the better part of his adult life. This was simply as a result of overindulgence in both food and drink, as well as to the complete lack of exercise.

Hawkeye will never attempt to preach to anyone, as he believes that every adult Homo is aware that they need a lifestyle change. It is simply up to the individual to do something about it. One person who was an avid Tennis Player, ran every day of the week, and in general was the perfect picture of health. This Homo told Hawkeye that he needed to get on a rigorous exercise program if he wanted to keep on living. Hawkeye finished his beer, and said to the Homo: you is right there brother! A few weeks later Hawkeye learned that the poor fellow was undergoing a Quadruple Heart Bypass in “Nu Sila!”

So: this could remind Hawkeye of the guy that survived the great wars, and then got hit by a truck when he stepped off the Greyhound Bus at his homecoming! Humm.

Good morning to all friends, fans and steady readers of Hawkeye. It is another beautiful morning in Paradise. Have we all been keeping the faith during the week past fans? Hope so cause “Jesus is a-watchin you!” On the other hand, so are the rest of the imaginary friends from bygone days, such as “Sky Raider,” “Tom Mix,” “Wally the Werewolf,” and Felecia Jeeter the late news reporter for the Santa Anna Times! Along with the rest of the aliens.

Hawkeye has been saving his shekels so he and Sweet Leanor can travel to Utopia for Hawkeyes much craved “Frontal Lobotomy.”  Hawkeye has been putting this off for years basically due to the fact that he has been “W.O.T.” {With-Out Tupe}

He was stopped dead in his Twacks when Sweet Leanor informed him that they couldn’t afford the Taxi Fare to get to the local Airport, much less a ride on a space craft all the way to the Kingdom of Utopia! So much for the lobotomy, frontal, one each for this year fans. Hawkeye being the semi retired Homo that he is will most likely never be able to afford the Frontal Lobotomy!

Hawkeye also had to cancel his trip to “Pleasant Acres” due to the financial restraints placed on him due to the forced austerity! Forced austerity will be a household phrase for the next few years’ folks: might as well begin to get used to it. We have one foot in the financial grave, while the other one is on a rotten banana peel! We are definitely slip sliding away as Paul Simon so aptly put it in the song: “Slip Sliding Away.” It has been said that Paul composed that song while sitting in a public rest-room in central park west! And coming back to the local Hooterville events, Hawkeye will allude to the article that appeared in the Samoa News Last week, penned by Mr. Carlos Sanchez. It was a rather lengthy article; therefore one could not very well have missed it. Well put Mr. Sanchez, and keep plugging away at community projects. Hawkeyes regret is not that he read the article in its entirety; His regret is that he did not write it! Over, Roger & out!

Hawkeye is happy to hear that things are both quiet and polite on the political scene in greater Wonderland. No need to get impolite and belligerent with each other folks. Hell: after all, the best person will win in the end anyhow! Unlike the sharp needles that are being poked at each other by our candidates in the land of the long white cloud…

“He said, she said.” The president is gay just because he came out of the closet and vocally supported Same Sex marriage. According to the Rev. James manning, he was gay long before he came out of the closet. Hawkeye cannot say one way or another, as he has never been on that side of the fence. Hawkeye will say that Gay Couples who adopt children from Orphanages and in turn offer them a future, and a good education a fine home environment, and create citizens out of them instead of Thugs. This is an enhancement to our society Folks! Let it be…Worry about your own back yards..

Until next week continue to look after the children and the old folks. Also look out for the alien Mamma Ships that are headed this way. Lock up your sheep folks.

With lotsa Love from Hawk & Sweet Leanor.