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Hawkeye: A Rotting Tree Leans Long Before It Falls

“Old age and the general wear of time teach many things.”


Love to all on this fine Saturday morning in Wonderland. Save your breath: Hawkeye is speaking!


There are many signs that the end of days is nearing the threshold of our very existence folks. While Hawkeye does not for one moment believe his own Bulls@#t, we are looking at the Fresh water tables dwindling, the Lakes which also serve as reservoirs for Vegas, and the California’s, Northern Mehico, Southern New Mehico, and points East will soon need to wake up and realize that the situation has gotten worse over the past 3-5 years. Arrowhead will not be able to bottle enough water to support the Multitudes when Hawkeye passes out the five loaves and 3 fishes.


The time for water conservation is right now, not just in the aforementioned places, but the world over. It is time for each and every one of us to decide to quit being the problem, and team up to form the solutions. We need not be concerned with Gun Control while we are all dyeing of thurst!


But what does this have to do with his “PAPPISIE” Da Pope resigning his post at the Vatican to make history? He is said to be the first POPE in 600 years to resign. Perhaps he is not yet ready to meet his maker, and has decided to write a book, do a Vatican Dance, or just plain disappear from society as we know it. Whatever the reason for his resignation, we wish him “GODSPEED” in his “PAPPAL MOBILITY SCOOTER” now that he will be absent the Famed “POPEMOBILE” manufactured in the Philippines from a Mercedes Chassis using child labor as junior “Panel beaters.” {Body & Fender People.} The now defunct POPE will be forced to prey on the good nature of the Filipinos to install bullet proof glass panels on his newly acquired “Hove-around!”


The world wishes his Papacy all the best as he wanders through the halls of that convent hoping to stumble across the odd retired Nun! The question is: will he have free rent in the Convent? The next question is: Can he afford to pay rent? Hawkeye is betting that he will have no problem at all meeting his financial obligations. Bill Mayer said that if the POPE can call it quits, so can everyone else associated with the operation.


Of course Bill being an Atheist probably does not really care one way or another, what becomes of Pope Benedict the IV? Or King Henry the VII th for that matter. Next question that seems to be bothering the Cloven, er ah, Conclave of Cardinals is who will replace Pope Benedict. Will he be a black Pope, an All American Pope, a Scandinavian Pope, a Native American Pope, of just a plain old hick from the sticks of Pompeii! In the interim, we will be looking for the smoke when they start burning the documents at the Vatican! {All in good humor fans.}


Backing away from Vatican issues, let’s see what’s happening with the Fono: “OOPS” The Fono is in recess until the Christmas Holidays. (or sometime sooner.) We will just have to wait and see.


One good thing that is happening again is “Presidents Day.” This is the day when all good citizens put the Turkey in the oven, Hang out “OLD GLORY” and head off for a drive in the country with the whole family! The point is that it seems as though it was just “Presidents Day” yesterday! The time passes so quickly once we are having fun and turn 69, making us senior citizens. Hawkeye likes being a senior citizen as he can get a senior citizens discount at KFC, {when it opens again.} Hawkeye heard in the street that KFC & BOH were planning grand openings together this year. Hum. The ceremonies will be held at “Checkers!” Over.


What is really bothering Hawkeye these days is the lack of good cable service! We pay our bills on time, we cannot get the Fox news Channel, and we are completely missing Channels 41, 42, & 43.


The rest of the channels are doomed to re-runs. Hawkeye would quit complaining if they would bring back Fox News Live. This way, we have a choice: either watch Fox News Live, CNN, or continue to watch Spartacus behead Roman Solders over and over again!


Why can’t we get Home Box Office back on the Cable System? Why do we need to go on with the same old routine? Is it because our cable provider is the only game in town? Enuff is Enuff folks. The Local Government would be better at running a Cable network than what we have! Good enough is not good enough Fans. We the super Citizens of Hooterville deserve better! If anyone agrees with Hawkeye on this subject, please indicate so by e-mailing This is an e-mail for Hawkeye.


When will there ever be an improvement in our cable network? Either when Chickens grow lips, or when frogs fly! 


Folks, do keep positive attitudes during the down times, and look after each other’s Assets.


Until Next week;


Hawkeye & Sweet Leanor