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Hawkeye: Ride Captain Ride

Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart.”


A fine Howdy to all friends and fans of the Hawk on another beautiful Saturday morning in Wonderland. Here we are: Like the good Captain says, “Ridin’ on our Mystery Ship.” As long as it is a mystery Ship it will most likely never sink unless it in the bay of Utopia!  It certainly could be worse though folks: We could be sitting there in South Korea listening to the Loudmouthed Keem Junk UGGah the great leader of Nawth Korea telling us that we are all about to be annihilated by his 4 million strong army, and his vast arsenal of Missiles.


While this regime, and that of his Father, Keem UN Junk, has proven in the past to have been a bunch of hot wind, we as a national power can no longer sit back and treat it as such. This kid is definitely on a power trip folks, and not to be taken lightly. Possibly Iran and China are supporting him in his quest to wreak Havoc on America, just to see what America Will do.. G.W. Bush did not know what a powerful statement crossed his lips when he said that North Korea, Iran, and East L.A. Constituted an Axis of Evil!


There is more news that would tend to have the folks of South Korea wishing that they were somewhere other than South Korea! North Korea has announced that it has its missile fleet at the ready, and considers them in a state of war. While the US has made an open statement that it takes the threat seriously, we will wait to see what Iran does, and possibly follow suite!


Meanwhile you can pick up a new automobile up for a song in Seoul. Over.


Hawkeye was reading in one of the popular periodicals that Hugo Chavez is being considered for “SAINTHOOD!” “WOW!” After calling the President of the Unites States Satan at a United Nations Counsel Meeting, and saying that there was a residual smell of Sulfur where President George, (Siosi) Bush had just completed his input, is deplorable.


While he cannot do any further damage to Siosi, (George) now, he is hardly worthy of Sainthood. These are definite signs of the times though folks. There are better days ahead!


Our Mystery Ship in Hawkeye’s circles is the Local Ship of State. Governor Lolo and his very able cabinet are getting it together early in the game. These are definitely positive signs of the times folks. The Roadside cleanup of Friday would put past efforts to shame. This is an all volunteer effort as Hawkeye sees it, and further testimony to the overall cooperation the new administration is receiving. This will be the most “SPIFFY LOOKING” Flag Day in the history of Flag Days. On Saturday last, while Hawkeye was searching for something better to watch on our “SUPURB” Cable Channels, he was watching one of the many religious polokalama’s in particular channel 34.


This was talking about the many faces of the scriptures and how so much of the ancient writings never made it in to the Holy Bible. For instance, Hawkeye never knew that there was a demonic woman in the Garden of Eden prior to Gods ripping out one of Adams Rib’s to make the second woman. This just keeps getting better folks. The first woman that was placed there by God to please Adam was evidently doing a piss poor job of it. Therefore, Adam decided to kick her out of the Garden where she seemed to have held a grudge, thus the demonic behavior. As a form of Punishment for her failures as a wife to Adam, God killed 100 of her children each and every day just to keep her attention. This went on for years, indicating that the lady had been rather busy. Her name was Lilet or something similar to that. Anyway, God caused Adam to fall in to a deep sleep, (Most likely the first use of anesthesia,) and when Adam woke up, not only was he missing a rib, but there was this lovely nude body lying next to him, thus, “ADAM & STEVE!” The first of Adams Companions took off with the snake that caused her to snack on the forbidden fruit!


This is Hawkeye’s Easter contribution for the Easter Holiday. Enjoy, or turn to a re-run of Channel 34 which is sure to be there and watch it for yourself! Over.


Hawkeye and Sweet Leanor were hovering over the New Downtown Market the other day and they heard this loud, ear-splitting noise coming from one of the Aiga Buses. Sweet Leanor said to Hawkeye, I thought that there was a law against playin wap on buses? Hawkeye said, aw Hooney, dats just for the buses twaveling on the West side of Paradise! Ignore it and it will go away.


It is nice to have a holiday once in awhile fans. Hawkeye has been rather Ill over this holiday period. This is why he skipped church! 


Take good care of the old folk’s fans as you will be old before you know it!


Love From:


“Leanor” & “Sweet Hawkeye”