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Hawkeye: Lumbering along

“By all means do the things that you enjoy doing, but stay out of debt.”


Good morning to all good fans and loyal readers of Hawkeye. It is a fine Saturday morning here in Hooterville ain’t it?


Hawkeye enjoys waking up to the sound of Roosters crowing, and cattle lowing, and sheep squawking, and the sounds that the little neighborhood chillens make. These are the sounds of peace and tranquility folks, and believe Hawkeye that there are Homo-sapiens in the world today that does not necessarily have the opportunity to enjoy life as we do here in Paradise! Look at those poor folks out there in Dickenson Texas that could have been blown away by the massive explosion at the fertilizer plant: The most likely reason that they were spared is that Dickenson Texas does not have a fertilizer plant! At least, terrorism was not suspected in that Massive explosion like the ones in Boston were. This guy who did this should be paraded in front of the masses, and the masses should be encouraged to throw rocks at him! When we figure out what makes these Homos that like to kill and maim Americans tick, it will be a great day for our country and for our history books.


When Hawkeye was growing up in the Susquehanna River Hills of Southeastern Pennsylvania, we never even thought of harming anyone personally. At Halloween, we used to throw corn at cars, and toilet paper people’s houses, or perhaps leave an outhouse or two around the Big City of Delta, but we never harmed anyone. We just didn’t think that way mainly because of the teachings of our parents! The point is that nowadays young people have some notion that the American Race is bad, and that they need to destroy it so it can no longer stand between them and their goal of bringing down freedom throughout the world! Hawkeye loves the freedom that he happened to fight for, and he will protect that freedom to his dying breath! Over..


Hawkeye was trying something cheerful to talk about in today’s column so he will talk about Goats. Many Goats are owned by the very people that we were just referring to in the previous paragraphs. When you take a “Goat Herder” or a Camel Jockey” and try to place them in a Western Society, there are risks to be taken.


But what does all of this have to do with “Gay Marriage?” Hawkeye not know, so we will just leave it hanging out there for comment..


And back to Goats. It is difficult to explain to a Policeperson why your Goat just defecated in front of Macys! The same might go for your Camel. Humm..


And should we be allowing our goats to be eating our neighbors shrubbery? The answer to that is No. We must teach our Camels and Goats to be responsible citizens, and then they can train their owners.


Hawkeye finds it amazing that they found a piece of one of the planes that struck the WTC on “09/11” a day that we as Americans are not likely to forget. This was a piece of Boeing landing gear that was found in an 18in. crawl space between buildings.


This tells Hawkeye that those good people of New York need more building space as 18In. just isn’t far enough apart for sky scrapers these days. (Either that, or Boeing Aircraft could hire Pigmy Engineers so the landing gear components could be manufactured on a smaller scale! Speaking of smaller scales, Hawkeye & Sweet Leanor have noticed that the roadside fish merchants have smaller fish that of “The Used to be.” Thus smaller scales. Could this mean that we are now forced to eat “Pigmy Fish?” Okay, let’s lay off the fish jokes for this week Hawkeye.


Let’s move on to the improving conditions of our Wonderland Roads. Things seem to be happening all over Hooterville Folks, and this is a definite sign of progress. Our processes are no longer taking recesses, and we are definitely moving forward on a positive note. This is good news, and it is far better to be listening to positive Vibes than Negative Waves! {To paraphrase Donald Southerland in the movie, Kelley’s Heroes.} Another one that Hawkeye likes to Paraphrase is: {Struther Martin in The Movie, Cool Hand Luke.} {“What we have here is a failure to communicate!”} Those were the days my friends. Where did they go? Humm.


Hawkeye and Sweet Leanor would like at this moment in time to say “HOWDY” to the Bailey Family of Dickinson Texas. Hawkeye heard that this is definitely the As%#*le of the Universe. At least it doesn’t Snow in the middle of May! Speaking of Snow in the middle of May, Hawkeye has his Chariot at the ready for the second comin of “Da Kin Bro!” On Hawkeyes way out in to the universe, he will pay a visit to the “Westbourgh Babtise (Baptist) Church.” Now there are some people that are warped from the inside out fans!


Until next week, do take care of your pets by having them spayed or neutered while the Vet is here!


With Love;


From Hawkeye & Leanor.