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Hawkeye: Don’t Stress!

“Confession without repentance is just plain bragging!”

“Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.”

That’s just the way it is on this fine morning in greater Wonderland.

Hawkeye was simply delighted to learn that the Super Vets. are visiting Hooterville once again to assist with the Spaying and Neutering Clinics. Anything will certainly be a vast improvement though fans. A few years back Hawkeye and Sweet Leanor had one of their favorite Cats Neutered. They went to pick him up at the Vet and noticed that a large chunk of one of his ears was missing. Hawkeye asked if the Cat had gotten in to a fight and the Vet said that this is the way to identify those Cats that had been neutered. Hawkeye can understand this concept however what about removing a smaller chunk of his ear? Over. Anyway, Kudos to all visiting Vets and may your stay be pleasant and rewarding.

Where Hawkeye grew up in the Susquehanna River Hills of South Eastern Pennsylvania Hawkeye used to be forced by his old dead redneck daddy to hold the “Hawgs” while the old man neutered them. Doing anything with Hawkeye's Daddy was a real thrill to say in the least. If the Pig wrestled loose from Hawkeye's grip, the old man would threaten to Neuter Hawkeye!

Let’s face it: this was no simple chore. Hawkeye was all of 96lbs. soaking wet, while the Hawgs were nearing, or exceeding 400 lbs.! Hawkeye said to himself many times: “Now, this ain’t right!”  If this were to happen in Amedikan today, the old man would have been arrested by the state for having violated the chile labor laws! Hawkeye's daddy did what he thought was right Hawk reckons.

Let’s face it: he could have allowed his family of 10 snot nosed young-ins as he so aptly referred to Hawkeye's Brothers and Sister starve to death, but he just kept plugging away at a job that paid all of 25 cents an hour! {He was the foreman!} Anyway, getting back to neutering, Hawkeye thinks he must have done ok as he never had to go under the old man’s knife! Hawk will bet if he could understand what those Hawgs were yelling at the old man, it wouldn’t have been very pleasant!  Hawkeye had to draw the line when his pappy wanted him to hold down the Roosters while he neutered them! Hawkeye's uncle asked his daddy one day why he was neutering chickens. The old man said that he was a-tryin ta breed Capons! Hawkeye's uncle, who was also Hawkeye's daddy’s brother, pointed out the fact that if the Roosters were neutered, they couldn’t father any chickens therefore rendering them useless for capon breeding! The old man just said: “awah, whaddayou knows about it anyhow?” This was life growing up in the Susquehanna River Hills!

Hawkeye had 8 brothers and 1 seestah. Hawkeye, being the youngest received no favors from his old dead daddy! He liked to refer to punishment as a good a%s Woopin! Hawkeye can attest to the fact that he knew how to do it too!

Nuff of this stuff or Hawkeye gwinna git homesick!

The race is on for the Republican White House. The worm has turned in the southern stated in the favor of Little Ricky Santorum. This guy will have to clean up his act in order to beat Barrack Obama to the steps of the White House in November 2012. Who cares, this is just before the end of days anyway. Perhaps this is what the Incas were talking about when they stop their calendar. The Republican Party will look for their carcasses on Tuesday Evening. Here is one way to look at it. While the rest of the country is poking fun at the delegates from the Marianas, Guam, and American Samoa, it will collectively put together 27 delegates for Romney, or whoever gets their name in the hat at the Toa Bar & Grill on Tuesday evening. Hawkeye says, “Let the best Candidate Win!”

Hawkeye asked Sweet Leanor what she thought about the Caucuses and she said: “The Wot!” That’s ok folks: as long as Jesus is everywhere we got it covered. Jesus is the light of the world, but Hawkeye keeps extra batteries just in case he loses touch!

Would someone please call Hawkeye's new message center so he can test it?

Hawkeye is happy that they are still running MASH Re-Runs on channel 24. This is how Hawkeye spends his Sunday Afternoons. That Alan Alda is one fine doctor. He even gave “Hot Lips Hooligan” an appendectomy! They should have been playing Country Music during that operation.

It was actually during the Korean Police Action that the US Army began to use Helicopters to evacuate wounded personnel from the field of battle. These went on to prove themselves priceless in the Vietnam Conflict. They are widely used today by our military.

Hawkeye will remind all Wonderland Voters to get out there and support the candidates of your choosing. You cannot have change if you do not participate.

Please be kind to each other until next week, and do not forget to take care of the old folks.


Hawkeye & Leanor