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Hawkeye: Saving the best for the rest

“ I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

“Never withhold praise. Before you speak, bite the tongue of judgment.”

Here’s lookin up your Lava Lava’s on this beautiful Saturday morning in Hooterville. Hawkeye does hope that you all have had a wondrous week in Paradise, as has Hawkeye & Sweet Leanor.

Hawkeye and Leanor were walking through one of the Local department stores during one of the many Independence Day sales. Some Homo-sapien called out: “Hey Hawkeye.” Hawkeye shrunk into the crowd of eager shoppers as best he could, but there was no hiding from this impolite, inconsiderate, loudmouth that had decided that the Hawk was going to talk to him if he had to yell loud enough to be heard in “Utopia!” Finally Hawkeye says: “Yeah, “whaddayawant?” He says: “Why ain’t there no Tachometers on Horses?” Hawkeye was quick with the correct answer. Hawk remarked that all horses are born with built in electro Tachs. While racing, they can monitor the red line on the Tachometers to ensure that they aren’t over-revving their engines. He then wanted to know where Hawkeye went to school to be so smart as to be able to answer that most difficult question. Hawkeye told him that he went to the school of Hard Knocks, but just graduated… Humm.. The guy said he was happy that he had stumbled upon Hawkeye, and went off scratching certain areas of his anatomy. Hawkeye loves it when he runs across a complete Idiot, as this makes Hawkeye feel far superior. There is a fine line between the Hawkeye mentality, and that of a complete idiot! {No Jokey, no fun-zees!}

(2)  Hawkeye & Sweet Leanor just received their C/D by the most able and sweet sounding Homo-sapien; “NORA JONES.” Hawkeyes favorite song on this album is “TURN ME ON.” After all this is why Hawkeye bought the C/D.. Hawkeye and Sweet Leanor were wondering if Nora is a Seestah of the Kovana Elect of Wonderland: “The Honorable Tim Jones.” Don’t know the immediate answer to this question, but Hawk is certain that there is someone out there in the Kovana Jones Fan Club who can answer the question. Over.. [Submit your answer to the on line version of Hawkeye in the Samoa News On Saturday Morning.]

Hawkeye, amongst millions of other Homos is finally getting concerned over Global Warming.. Hawkeye has attempted to spread the word that there will soon be Ice Skating on the Frozen Lagoon in the center of Swains Island. Hawkeye would hope to suggest that the development begin immediately of Swains, before the rush of tourists lookin for a Kool place to visit for the winter months in North America, Namely Amerika! Hawkeye is gonna invest in a Skate Sharpening business on Swains as long as he can locate the sharpening Jig for his sharpener! We will need at least a 500 Woom Hotel, along with a runway long enuff, and wide enuff to handle the now defunct Anglo / French Concord. Hawkeye heard that those of those Planes that haven’t crashed, or burned up on take-off are going cheap! But what does this have to do with Global Warming, and the immediate development of Swains Island? Nuthin, Das Wot!

There have been warnings for years that the western States of Arizona, New Medico, Nevada, Utah, California, and the country of San Diego, will all be running out of H2O by the year 2010. This should send up a red flare, making certain that the warning flare does not Spark, {Figure of Speech} another Forest fire. This

(3)  Drought is fast becoming one big pain in the a#s whimpered one San Diego-ite who wished not to be named as he could not remember who his parents were..Humm.. He said: “How Dare Mammy Nature to f*@k with us like this. We are so used to thinking that we is a cut above the average Homo-sapien in those other countries that are suffering drought conditions! How is dey a gu-inna growing our Herb?? Over.. Hawkeye will suggest the near future Mecca of Swains Island!

Let’s face it folks, we cannot win as now that Gasoline prices are on the decline, so is the levels of our resiviours that hold water to feed the multitudes! The sad ending to all of this nonsense: “We are F&@ked!” Years too late, the authorities in the great State / Country of San Diego have banned all vehicles washing in their driveways. They did not say that they couldn’t park their vehicles on the street to wash them! One day all men, women, and Gays will  be treated as equals in the eyes of the next president of San-Diego! {Up to and including our Presitene.} The drought will be causing havoc with the Crops, which in turn will eat up all the savings we enjoyed by the drop in fuel prices. The Vegetables on the super-market shelves will lay there and rot due to the fact that Homos will be out of a job! The only ones who will make out are the Taxi Drivers with electro Cabs!

Tofa and sweet love from Hawkeye & Sweet Leanor until next week.



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