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With coconut hearsay Solofa might have avoided prison

Satire

In approximately late 2007 and early 2008, federal authorities began investigating allegations of bribes and kickbacks paid by vendors to officials of the American Samoa Government in connection with the government’s purchase of school bus parts and services.  

Perhaps you were unaware of this high-stakes criminal investigation that was picking up steam as the stock market prepared to embark upon a death spiral and the shadows of the Great Recession started to creep across the land.

 It’s nice to know that while the toxic exotic securities and the mortgage fraud began to back up in the sewers of Wall Street that someone still had time to keep an eye out on the cesspool of corruption that was the Samoan school bus business.

Bribery?  Kickbacks?? Bus Parts??? Samoa????

Frankly, this is an impressive case.  Superb detective work by the FBI. So – how about we invite a whole batch of Wall Street folks to some kind of Polynesian luau with the whole suckling pig, hulu dancing, and pirate’s rum thing? 

Then we stick microphones all over the place and get them to talk about the Facebook offering, NASDAQ’s computers, MF Global’s customer money, JP Morgan’s risk management, Goldman Sachs’s exotic securities, Bank of America’s purchase of Merrill Lynch – you know, whatever floats your fancy, we’ll put on the list of conversation topics.



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